"I'll be home for Christmas." The holidays are often a time for families and friends to gather together, even if you don't live close to each other. Right before Thanksgiving and right before Christmas are usually the busiest travel days of the year for a reason. College students fly back home, parents and children fly to each other to celebrate the holidays together. Old friends get together again after a long time apart. Despite the different places life calls us to live, the holidays are a time to be with each other. For those that can't gather together but wish they could, it can be a time of deep longing for those connections again. Of course, in a broken world, those holiday gatherings aren't always good experiences. Sometimes people dread getting together yet still feel obligated to. They know that coming together is going to bring up old grievances, or political differences or the same old problems you've always had. Maybe they know that the same annoying questions will get asked like why you're still single, or haven't gotten a better job, or haven't had kids yet or why you don't call as much. Relationships can be messy. But they are worth the effort to invest in.
I've seen some articles recently about how more and more people are simply cutting off contact with loved ones. While there are certainly times when a situation is so toxic and abusive that it feels like that's our only option, I think we've grown to accept that reality far too easily. When we have major disagreements, or have felt wronged by someone, of course going no-contact with them feels easier. Then we don't have to deal with it. So as a defense mechanism, we simply keep our relationships shallower or avoid certain people altogether. Sadly, the result is that we miss out on deep relationships and the ones we maintain we keep shallower.
Last week Amy and I travelled back to Michigan because a dear friend passed away and I was asked to officiate the funeral. While it was a quick trip, we were still able to have a little time with the family to reminisce, laugh, and cry together. We were able to see some other old friends too. While we were there, I found myself so appreciative of relationships that mattered enough to stay in touch seven years later. That truly is a gift too easily taken for granted. When you get to know someone well enough to want to see each other years later, it's an incredible blessing that should be treated as. Some relationships are worth maintaining, even after years apart.
Do we treat our current relationships with that same value? Do we treat our friendships and family connections as if they really matter? A pastor once told me to keep the end goal in mind. He was talking about how if you want the end of your ministry to be full of people that you love and want to stay in touch with later, you have to be willing to build those relationships now. I think that applies to any relationship. Do we keep the end goal in mind? Of course, people's lives change and we all can't be best friends with everyone we come across forever. But do we invest in the relationships we have as if we hope they last? Do we work on reconciling with each other because we want a future where our apologies are not left unsaid? People and relationships matter to God, and they should certainly matter to us too.
This holiday season, I'm especially grateful for people that I've known and loved in different times and different places. People that have encouraged me in my faith journey as I have hoped to encourage them. Relationships that I know I will be able to enjoy in eternity with our Lord.
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